I have a problem with my weight. I am over 300 pounds. My double chin has a double chin and the flap at the back of my head is pronounced. I have back fat. The folds underneath my stomach are restricting my movement. My thighs touch and I sweat profusely. I get skin-flaps from the irritation and weird pimples to boot. I can’t get into or out of my car without a struggle and my left knee hurts because there’s alot of extra weight on a joint that should have been surgically repaired years ago.
I know I’m fat. You don’t need to remind me. I look at myself in the mirror every morning and I see it. You can’t say anything to me that I haven’t thought in my own head a million times. And yet, I still go out of my way to treat you the way that I’d like to be treated. I hold out hope that there are people out there that are going to look beyond my exterior and everyday I am disappointed. No, scratch that, there are people here that are. My fiancee loves me for who I am, so do my kids, and my friends never tell me that I am any less of a person because I am big enough to be two persons.
But you would think that as my father you would be sensitive enough to know that I am most vulnerable when I am with you. Is it polite for your friends to talk to you and remark how fat your son has gotten, and that your only response is that, “Well he just doesn’t keep an eye on what goes into his mouth, haha?” I realize that your friends are the sort that make up this fine idiocracy that we live in, the sort that complain about others weaknesses while ignoring their own, the tobacco and the cheap tequila and the lousy women, but what of you?
What is it in you that allows that behavior to happen? I walked away, glad I had a book in my hand to ignore you as I have always done, but what is it in you that has always sided with them over me? It is ironic that your failure as a father led to your father-in-law stepping in to instruct me in the manner in which a gentleman is supposed to behave in this life which in turn placed you in my hands when you went blind and couldn’t take care of yourself anymore.
Just be thankful. If I had been taught to be more like you I would have abandoned you to your sorry state long ago. Fuck you and good night.
